Totally worth it

I am in the end stages of my divorce. Most of you already know this. It has been quite the journey. I love my ex-husband. I always will. Sounds weird I know, but he is family. I still consider him one of my best friends. Now I get to raise kids with one of my best friends. That is pretty fucking awesome. Not to say we always get along because. Fuck no that is not the case, but we will figure it out. We both firmly believe that our kids deserve better than to have parents who can't figure their shit out enough to get along and raise them. 

He is the father of my children. He will always be a part of my life because he will always be a part of theirs. We may not work as husband and wife, but as co-parents and friends it has been pretty fucking great. There have been bumps in the road, but  am here to tell you communication has been the muthafuckin key!! 

I think we talk more now than we ever did before. This was very difficult at first. We struggled through the raw emotions of the initial separation. Then the cohabiting that had to happen until he found a new place. There were nights that I would cry myself to sleep just repeating over and over in my head, "I can do this, I can do this". 

This has been the most difficult and terrifying thing I have ever done in my life. It has been so hard, but at the same time so worth it. I feel like I can focus. Like I can breathe again. I still have days when I don't know which way is up or how I'm going to make this shit work, but I had days like that when I was still married.