Searching for a brightside

I have so many things pulling at me these days. So much stress. I feel so heavy.

I find myself trying to work in reverse. To rewind to a time when I was happier. When life was easier. A time when it seemed I was able to be carefree and allow myself to feel things...fully.

I know I can't live in the past. I would like to find a way to be happy now. I want to feel things again. I don't want to shut people out anymore. I may have done it for too long now though because I look around and I see very few genuine people anymore.

I live my life so guarded. I don't let people in. Not really.

All of these feelings put so much power in someone else's hands.

I need to gain clarity and refocus. My goal for 2014 was to follow through. I really have accomplished a lot this year.

Guess I just need to take a step back and look for a moment. Being as busy as I've been I may have forgotten to allow myself time to reflect and enjoy what I've been doing.

For those of you who also follow my fb page I won't be around for a while, but the page will still be active. I have a few friends helping out with keeping it running. With everything that is happening on fb with my divorce ending and the ex's new gf blasting it all over Facebook I just need a quiet, safe place to land. unfortunately that is not fb right now. I will miss my homies there dearly, but I'll be back. (Spoken in my best govenator voice)