Nothing should happen at 8am on a Saturday. NOTHING.
My oldest had a tennis match this morning at 8 a.m. Yes on a Saturday. I feel sports for children should not be held at the crack of freaking dawn on a weekend mornings EVER.
So after not crawling into bed until 3 a.m. due to having a very sick 3yo and a husband who was MIA until very late after some macho fight thing at the casino I was willing to sell my soul to the unholiest of unholy's to not have to take him to the freaking match. Bbbuuuuutttttt...then he looked at me all like, "My little heart will be crushed if you don't take me. I want you to come watch my match, show me support and be a good mommy." (sonofabitchmotherfucker) SOOOOOO of course I crawled out of bed, put on a bra, found a suitable shirt and pants and threw on my sunglasses.
Since I had laid in bed until 15 minutes before we had to BE THERE and inevitably couldn't find my damn keys in the mess of a house I live in right now....we were out the door about 5 minutes (OK more like 10 minutes) after my feet hit the floor. 5 minutes left to get there left me no time to grab coffee on the way. I am the queen of fucking procrastination! I am also the queen of don't fucking talk to me until I have my coffee bitches. But today went surprisingly well anyway!
My kid didn't hit his asshole of a partner in the face with his tennis Racket. Even though secretly I wanted him to. He did not hit the court hog of a partner in the face. I was proud. (I also had a primo plan concocted to back him up without looking like an asshole if he had hit him in the face.) Alas he acted like a good sport but ran crying off the court instead. Poor dude. He got a 2nd place ribbon because this dudebag (his partner) didn't let him play and that was not cool with my son because the court hog dudebag got a blue ribbon. More tears from my guy.
His coach is amazing and decided that since he showed such excellent sportsmanship (he's had issues with being a good sport recently) she was giving him a racket that was given to her by a professional tennis player! yep he was STOKED!
We took him to our local sporting goods store got him a new tennis bag to put it in and some new shoes for school. We also took him out to lunch to celebrate. Spoiled him a little to show that we noticed his hard work. Ya know the drill. All the while I still had no coffee and DID NOT kill anyone. I didn't even cuss at anyone! This was a major development!
Then it was back to the house. Yes the horribly, dirty to the point of leaving all my shit and moving house, yep that one. Needless to say. I took a nap. A long one. When I awoke...yeah the house was still a mess. Fuck. So I wrote this blog.
So after not crawling into bed until 3 a.m. due to having a very sick 3yo and a husband who was MIA until very late after some macho fight thing at the casino I was willing to sell my soul to the unholiest of unholy's to not have to take him to the freaking match. Bbbuuuuutttttt...then he looked at me all like, "My little heart will be crushed if you don't take me. I want you to come watch my match, show me support and be a good mommy." (sonofabitchmotherfucker) SOOOOOO of course I crawled out of bed, put on a bra, found a suitable shirt and pants and threw on my sunglasses.
Since I had laid in bed until 15 minutes before we had to BE THERE and inevitably couldn't find my damn keys in the mess of a house I live in right now....we were out the door about 5 minutes (OK more like 10 minutes) after my feet hit the floor. 5 minutes left to get there left me no time to grab coffee on the way. I am the queen of fucking procrastination! I am also the queen of don't fucking talk to me until I have my coffee bitches. But today went surprisingly well anyway!
My kid didn't hit his asshole of a partner in the face with his tennis Racket. Even though secretly I wanted him to. He did not hit the court hog of a partner in the face. I was proud. (I also had a primo plan concocted to back him up without looking like an asshole if he had hit him in the face.) Alas he acted like a good sport but ran crying off the court instead. Poor dude. He got a 2nd place ribbon because this dudebag (his partner) didn't let him play and that was not cool with my son because the court hog dudebag got a blue ribbon. More tears from my guy.
His coach is amazing and decided that since he showed such excellent sportsmanship (he's had issues with being a good sport recently) she was giving him a racket that was given to her by a professional tennis player! yep he was STOKED!
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| This is the adorable celebration dance! |
We took him to our local sporting goods store got him a new tennis bag to put it in and some new shoes for school. We also took him out to lunch to celebrate. Spoiled him a little to show that we noticed his hard work. Ya know the drill. All the while I still had no coffee and DID NOT kill anyone. I didn't even cuss at anyone! This was a major development!
Then it was back to the house. Yes the horribly, dirty to the point of leaving all my shit and moving house, yep that one. Needless to say. I took a nap. A long one. When I awoke...yeah the house was still a mess. Fuck. So I wrote this blog.
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