A dollar (per minute) for your future

Ok so I'm laying here. I'm totally minding my own business eating string cheese, watching old 90's movies and trying not to listen to my husband snore the paint off the walls...when out of no where a commercial for California Pyschics comes on. I didn't even know people still called those quacky fucks.

All it was missing was miss Cleo or whatever the hell that phony psychic chicks name was. You know the "psychic" that ran commercials every 5 minutes the 2 hours or so before they turned off programming for the night back in the day.

I gotta say it is MUCH more cost effective these days to find out the key to your future. You can call now for the low price of just $1 a minute! Day-um that shit used to be $3.99 a minute back in the day. Not that I would know. I didn't ever sucessfully call. That bitch had some crafty phone screeners...

It went something like this...
I had this totally important question that I just HAD to call about...it was about a boy I'm sure...I was so nervous that it took me forever to work myself up and actually dial the damn number. I was also 14 years old and totally fucked everything up by giving my real birth date. Shitdamnhell. Needless to say it didn't work out with the boy either!

I was not prepared for that. Sneaky fucks. Who knows what I would have done when they asked for my credit card information... had I made it past the INTENSE interrogation regarding my year of birth. Geezzzz that shit was rough.

Oh and btw they totally cut the shit out of the mother of all 90's flicks...Clueless. Bitches.